Gratitude.

Mommin'. Some of you have been doing it for longer than I've been alive. Some of you are brand spankin' new. That's me. Sometimes I wonder how I'm supposed to know what to do with this little infant that is totally dependent on other people (mostly me, yikes!) to keep her alive!

But that's just it-- you don't know. You don't know why they're crying. You don't know that you're going to smell that someone threw up on you all day long-- even after you change clothes, it's like it's literally coming out of your pores. You don't know that you're going to try to bargain with a baby to be able to take a bathroom break! "If you'll just stop crying so I can go to the bathroom, I'll feed you! It'll just take a minute!" You don't know that you shouldn't wear cute clothes ever bc your child's main goal in life is to poop or pee on everything you both own.

But you learn. You learn the difference between the "I'm just trying to get attention" cry and the "my tummy hurts" cry. You learn to take the fastest showers ever and put make up on with one hand-- and you probably just give up on your hair. Some things can't be helped.

And while learning to mom, it helps to have great support.

GRATITUDE. That's what I feel for my husband. He is so patient; he works hard to understand me {{good luck with that}} and always has my back. He encourages me. He loves me even when I'm a lot bit crazy. He is my biggest supporter.

Finding balance between being a mom and being a wife is a real thing. And it's hard. Some women may have it all together and their lives just magically adapted to having a baby, but not this one. Nope, not here.

So thank you to the husbands who get it. Who know that you're going to come home to a wife who just wants you to hold the baby for like ten minutes so she can shower. Husbands who appreciate all the blow-out diapers your wife changed this week. Husbands who make it easy to be grateful. Husbands who encourage their wives to do something that makes her feel good. Husbands who love our emotion-crazed new mom selves.

You are blessings.

BElieve THEre is GOOD {{in the world}}

Lamentations 3:22 "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not."

Hi my pretties!

Just wanted to take a minute and remind you that God is good, He loves you, and best of all, His compassions don't fail and His mercy is new EVERY morning! 

Compassion = "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."

God knows what you're facing; the battles you're going through are not yours to fight alone. He is a good, good Father and He cares about every tiny aspect of your life.

His compassion on our mundane lives is beautiful and extravagant.

Take this ordinary Friday and make it extraordinary.

You never know who may need your compliment, Bible verse or encouragement.

Be the good in an ever changing world. Find a way to make a difference to someone today!

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Here's to you, kid.

You've kept your head up. You've made it past obstacles that are too large for your young life. You've persevered through situations that you shouldn't have to know exist. You've kept your emotions in check for the most part.

Here's to you for trying to have a normal life. For making excuses for a person or a set of people who are supposed to love you enough to move heaven and earth for you. 

But sometimes they don't. Maybe they can't. I don't know.

Today is my mom's birthday, and I wanted to call and tell her happy birthday. But I can't.

I would never put this out there to embarrass her or make her feel like less of anything that she is. And I don't want to embarrass myself either.

But recently I've been thinking about embracing the mess.

Taking off the mask of "a perfect life."

The mess that is sometimes real life. Sometimes real life isn't picture perfect, no matter how "normal" you've set your life up to be.

The mess that is embarrassing. Hard to handle. Impossible to look past. You can't run from it. And it's real.

The mess that may mean your mom is in prison. I mean it wasn't always that way. Sometimes it was rehab. Sometimes it was a "drug court" program. Sometimes it was just addiction taking it's course.

But here's to you, kid.

You look to God to direct your paths. You've gone to college. You have a degree. You have a good job. You have a great family. You're married. You have a good life. You nurture the relationships that are important to you.

You have responsibilities that you're actually supposed to have, not the ones that you had when you were a kid, but you were treated like an adult. It wasn't your responsibility to keep secrets, feel guilty or get caught in the middle. But you were.

You weren't supposed to not be able to call your mom and tell her happy birthday,  but you can't.

You aren't supposed to know about attempted suicide, choosing sides, drunken rages or meth.

But you do.

Sometimes that's life. It's real life for some people.

So, to the girls who think their parents suck because they didn't get them front row tickets to see Adele, that's not an actual problem. 

It's hard to see your parent behind a glass wall. To go to a jail and pick up a phone on a concrete wall to talk to your parent. That's not how life is supposed to be. 

That's actually a mess. A real life mess. 

Your mom and dad are supposed to take you to ball games and send you out on dates with $20. They're supposed to buy you your first car and pay for your college tuition. 

Not call you in the middle of the night with another problem.

But here's to you, kid. For keeping your really personal life personal and not letting it determine your future.

For making your path take a turn. For not being a statistic that you were expected to be. You're making a difference.

And you should thank them, too. For making you rely on the love of Jesus more than you ever thought you would. For having relationships with other family members that may not have existed. For pushing you to better yourself.

Psalm 40:8
"I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart."

He is still good.

I can't really wrap my head around the fact that it's been 10 weeks since I was in Africa.  Part of me feels like I was there yesterday, and part of me feels like it was last year. 

I've struggled with writing anything about our trip because I have way too much to say, while having not much to say.

If you want to hear about a life changing, life giving, humbling, incredible time full of babies and people who love Jesus, I can tell you story after story.

If you want to know how overwhelming it is to be in the midst of poverty but still see beauty everywhere, I can tell you about that.  If you want to hear about how people light up because they have the joy and peace of Jesus in their life, despite their real life hardships, I can tell you story after story.

If I learned anything going to Uganda, it is this: He is still good.

In the midst of poverty stricken streets, disease, hunger and fatherlessness, He is still good.

In the midst of children who don't know their parents, He is still good.

In the midst of not knowing where the next meal is coming from, He is still good.

In the midst of women and men taking care of children they did not give birth to, He is still good.

In the midst of trials far greater than anything you and I have ever known, He is still good.

I won't make light of our struggles and hardships; they are real.  But I've never been starving.  My stomach has never been distended due to hunger.  I have never had to sleep in a strange place or been refused medical attention because I didn't have the money upfront to pay for treatment of some sort.  

We don't get sent home from school and told we can't come back until our fees are paid when we are 8 years old.  

Uganda will make you fall in love.  You will fall in love with the people; their hearts.  You will fall in love with holding babies on a porch, barefoot, overlooking a scenery that is unmatched.  You will fall in love with the simplicity.  You will do things you never thought you would do in your lifetime- and all of these things will simply be okay.

And you will want to fix all the problems.

Have you ever thought about how lucky you are? I really hadn't, until recently.  Why was I born into such luxury? Why do I not have to worry about starving? Why do children suffer daily from things I've never even thought about? Why do I live in a house with 3 bedrooms and a large portion of the Ugandan population sleep on dirt floors?

It's not fair, in my mind. But He is still good.

Part of being a Christian is this: to serve others.

James 1:27 "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."

There is so much affliction. God didn't tell us to wait until the afflicted are rescued and placed comfortably on a couch somewhere to go visit them. No, He means for us to see them in their hardest times.  

"As abject poverty confronted me every day, I felt deeply convicted about one thing:  God did knot make too many people and not enough resources to go around. Because we are living in His world, there had to be a solution." -Katie Davis (Kisses from Katie) **PSA: if you haven't read this book, please do. It will put you all up in your feels and make you cry lots but also make you happy.

While we were in Uganda, we visited several homes; some for babies, some for children of all ages.  They all had this one thing in common: Jesus Christ is the head of their home, and they are living out their lives with humble hearts and much worship.

They love Jesus so much.

Sometimes I think we get sidetracked by all the things we have and want.  We're too busy to truly worship, because we have somewhere to be at 12:04 after church and we just really can't be late. 

We can't truly appreciate what we do have, because the world tells us that if we want to be as good as everyone else, we need more. 

We can't have deep, meaningful relationships because we are constantly comparing ourselves to the people we want to befriend, and let's be honest, that just doesn't sit well.

Why? What does any of that matter?

What matters is children getting an education. Children getting food. Children not being denied medical attention because they have no money.

I could say so much more, but I want to share this:

You can help. You can make a difference in a life and it will not go unnoticed.

Okay, true.  Helping one child, one life- that may not be shouted from the rooftops. But to the child you help, you are changing their world. You are making sure they have their basic provisions met. No child should have to worry about when they will eat next.

If you're worried I'm about to hit you up for money or something, don't worry- I'm not. But I am going to share some information and ask you to really pray for the people of Uganda.

By sponsoring a child (with any amount of money at places that we have personally visited/stayed at) you are changing  a life.  It is insane how far $20 from the US will go there. If God has laid it on your heart to serve someone in some way, I hope you'll consider sponsorship.  If you are interested in this avenue, PLEASE contact me.  You can even go to http://www.canaankids.com and take a look around. Setting up a monthly donation through Christian Aid Ministries is so easy. The kids' profile will let you know who is in need of sponsorship, as well as tell you a little bit about him/her. If you only have $10/month, it will make a difference.

My aunt and uncle, Amy and Rob Montgomery, also have a nonprofit that they started after going to Uganda. Rise Again works largely with projects in Uganda.  Most recently, they have been able to gather funds to give a grandmother, who is raising her grandchildren, their very first beds and put a floor in their home among several other life changing projects.  Please go check out their Facebook page (Rise Again, Inc.) to follow what's happening with that ministry!

Some other Facebook pages that can give you a look inside life in Uganda are:

Canaan Childrens Home Official 

Pillars OfHope Uganda

Sangaalo Babies

Ebenezer Children's Ministry 

Amazima Ministries 

Plans to back to Uganda are already in the works and I really pray it all works out.  But if not, He is still good. 

Going to Uganda was life changing. Corny, but true. Going to Uganda gave me a new sense of appreciation for life in general. And it made me fall in love with Jesus all over again. Because He does care about you and me. He cares about those widows and orphans. He cares about us all the same. For that, I am grateful. 

A Cheerful Giver.

I'm not a preacher or a teacher. I'm nobody in a position to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. So first, before you go any further, know this:

This is for me.

This is for me. For the me that was selfish, greedy and always worried about money. Always wondering how much my next check was going to be, when Cory was getting paid and what bills were due at what time.

This is for me.

Luke 16:10

"He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least, is unjust also in much."

I've been told and taught my whole life that when you get a gift of money, you give God his 10% and the rest is yours to do whatever you want with it.

But why? I never paired this scripture above with tithing and giving. Faithful in much. I don't know about you, but I want God to see my writing my measly check and think, "Wow. Cindi is faithful in much."

Proverbs 3:9 "Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase."

Writing out our tithes is an every week occurrence. I'm not gonna lie, it's easy to think of what else we could buy with that money. After all, I don't really know where it goes, who deposits it, or what gets done with the money I write out. (I'm sure I could ask and find out, but that's not really the point). Because it doesn't matter (to me) where it goes, or what's done with it. I've done my part by giving it, and someone else has to do their part by delegating what gets done with it.

But God doesn't want what's left of your paycheck. First fruits. Not leftovers.

In case you're starting to feel something other than happy feelings toward me, I shall repeat:

This is for me.

When I first starting feeling guilty about not paying tithes when the offering baskets came around, I talked to Cory.

I didn't say much. I just said something like "Do you think we should pay tithes?" And he said yes. Settled. 

Luke 21:1-4

"And he looked up, and saw the rich men casting their gifts into the treasury. And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all: For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury (extreme poverty or destitution) hath cast in all the living that she had.

Rich or poor, we have what we have because God has allowed us to have it. With a thankful heart, I realize that I have a good job, Cory has a good job; we are blessed beyond measure. It's so crazy to think that $20 out of $200 would really make that much of a difference in our banking account. And it really doesn't. I like to think that that $20 is better spent with whatever the church decides to do with it than another meal at Chick-Fil-A! We all know I eat there too much anyway.

2 Corinthians 9:7

"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver."

So, yes. Tithing and giving is for me. For me. Because remember, this is for me. But God loves a cheerful (noticeably happy and optimistic) giver (a person who gives something). I, personally, wouldn't feel good about writing out a check and thinking "Well, I guess this is something I have to do because I go to church here. Hope they're happy." I'd say you're better off just keeping your money with that attitude. 

Every time the offering basket comes around at church, I feel thankful that I have the money to give, thankful to have a job, relief that that money is now where it belongs, and overwhelmed that God doesn't want more, because honestly, ten percent doesn't seem like enough.

It's funny that since we started faithfully tithing and giving, I don't worry about money. I'm not saying I don't know when our bills are due, but I never worry that we aren't going to be able to make it without another check. I feel such a peace about finances, which is really a miracle. 

Thanks, God, for molding me into a cheerful giver.

Beauty for Ashes.

So of course I'm excited. Of course I'm counting down the days until I leave for, what I hope will be, one of the most life changing experiences of my life. I fully expect to be humbled in ways I've never imagined.  

For example, I got an email from our team leader a couple of days ago and it said this:

"We've been asked for a few specific donations, but I learned yesterday of a new ministry we are going to visit - it's a baby home run by a couple who are brought infants that are abandoned in the trash. They have about 30 babies right now and while our team has been asked to visit, love on the babies and encourage the couple running it I'm sure they could also use any of the typical items babies need from diapers and formula to bottles, creams, powders, soap, etc. We've also been asked for children's tylenol (both in liquid and tab form)."

Did you catch that? The in the trash part? I know things like this happen everywhere. I'm not oblivious to the children that are done wrong around us. I'm really not. But I can't imagine seeing a baby in the trash anywhere. Not in the US and not in Africa. Nowhere.

This kind of tragedy makes me think of Isaiah 61:3.. "to give unto them beauty for ashes." 

To be able to go and love on these babies, encourage the couple that has taken it upon themselves to do something to help out, even though they don't have everything they need at arm's length.. it makes me feel guilty. 

So of course I'm excited, still. I'm so ready to be hugging kids, taking pictures, praying I don't get malaria, challenging myself to be grateful for things I take for granted. I'm ready for that. But I'm afraid I won't be ready for all that I'll see. I know it's going to change the world I live in. I know I'm going to be more aware of the things I don't deserve. And I'm glad. I'm ready for my world to be rocked by kids who have no idea that they're going to take part in such a thing.

And so, if you have anything you'd like to donate, please get ahold of me and let me know. (870-615-1017//cdixonlee@gmail.com) It's not all about money to these people. Sometimes it's just about bottles and diapers. 

**also, a gigantic THANK YOU to everyone who has sent in any amount of donation.  If you have $2, I'd never turn that down. 

Here's the donation link, in case you've been telling yourself that you'll "do it later." ;) 
I know you people.
https://www.awaa.org/give/general_donation.aspx 

XOXO

Africa and Orphans.

Hi friend!!

So you may or may not have seen the exciting news about having the opportunity to GO TO AFRICA!! I am beyond excited to be able to go spread the love of Jesus to a group of people who so desperately need love: orphans.

An orphan is defined as "a child whose parents are dead."

While we're carrying on with our everyday lives, it's easy to forget that there are literally thousands of children who are motherless and fatherless. The good news to us, as Christians, is that we are also the sons and daughters of the King of Kings whose name is Jesus!! I can't imagine living a life not knowing that Jesus is real; that He died for you and me and wants us to spend an eternity with him. 

The reality is, some people don't know that. They've never heard the gospel message that God sent His son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that we can be saved.  They've never heard that He loves us. 

This chance to go to Uganda is indescribable to me. It's something I've wanted to do for so long and now the opportunity has come my way. I couldn't be more thankful! 

To me, the purpose of any mission trip is to spread the good news and LOVE of Jesus. I can't wait to be in Uganda, surrounded by little children looking for someone to play with them and love on them!

As I mentioned on Facebook, I prayed about money over and over again. I know that if this is God's will, He will make a way. I felt like God laid it on my heart that I know 300 people that have $10. I actually had to grab a calculator and make sure that that added up to $3,000.00. (don't tell Cory that, he'd be so disappointed.. but my math skills are nonexistent).

So, with that being said, I hope that if you have $10 to spare, you'll consider going to this website and making a donation to help with my expenses. This is an all inclusive price to cover airfare, transportation, meals, lodging, etc. 100% of all donations made will go toward my expenses. Also, a receipt can be printed off the website to make your donation tax deductible. (Just be sure that you put "Cindi Dixon Lee trip to Uganda" in the "participants name"section!)

https://www.awaa.org/give/general_donation.aspx?us_designation=Storyteller%20Missions

If you aren't able to make a donation, that's totally cool. But I'd love if you'd commit to praying for me, this team, these orphans and the country we're visiting. So many people long to know who Jesus is, and the best way to show them is to lead by example. Jesus visited the sick, the poor, the widows, the orphans.  How blessed I am to be able to do so also.