Vacuum Cleaners and Jesus.

I guess you know you're officially "growing up" when you get excited about household cleaning items.  Some of you will know what I mean.  I've always been a neat freak, and shoes will be better and cooler than coffee tables and Swiffers any day, but sometimes you just get a really neat toy that can be used in everyday life and it's cool.

That's why I was so excited about finding this super nice vacuum cleaner on sale during Black Friday like two or three years ago. I had a roommate at the time, and she had one already, but I couldn't pass up such a good deal! Besides, we wouldn't be living together forever, and I knew I would need my own someday anyway. So of course I bought it! And I put that sucker together myself.  There's something satisfying about taking a bunch of parts, putting them together and seeing your hard work pay off. (Okay, so I had to undo and redo a few things, but what does that matter? It works now!)

Fast forward to May 2014. I kept my handy dandy vacuum cleaner in every house I had. Actually, after I got out of Little Rock, I only lived one place before we bought our house. So I used that vacuum cleaner a couple of times in Little Rock, and then it moved to the town house with me. There was only carpet in the living room and upstairs in the bedrooms (but you better believe I didn't haul that thing up the stairs very often) so I vacuumed downstairs quite a bit.

I'm going somewhere with this, I really am.

So I noticed that the last few times I used my vacuum cleaner at the town house, it wasn't working very well, and it wasn't working well at the new house either. Ugh.  This was my first vacuum cleaner, mind you.  I had no idea how long the things were supposed to last!  Thus, I thought the thing was the biggest piece of junk that I'd ever purchased in a Black Friday sale (and, ask Cory, I've bought a lot of junk).  I didn't know how long it should last, but I knew it was longer than a year and a half!! Hello. Even a newbie knows that.  A few days ago I mentioned that I need to buy a new one.  Leave it to my perfectly handy husband to ask if I'd ever changed the filter.  The what?  I guess my roots are about to show, but hey. So what if I didn't know that maybe my vacuum wasn't a piece of junk and that maybe it just needed a new filter?! This morning before church, I took the thing apart to find out what kind of filter it needed.  While I was doing so, Cory came and took a look at the filter I had had in the thing for the last.. uhh.. since I bought it. It was filthy.  He said, "Yeah, I think that one is done."  

No kidding.  It probably didn't pick up any dirt the last five times I vacuumed.

The whole point I've been working toward.  Imagine God creating this top of the line, one of a kind person.  He saw what He made and it was good; He was satisfied.  He created this thing that He was proud of and that He liked.

Then it stopped working right.  It stopped picking things up; it started slacking.  He's looking down and thinking, "Why don't you know you need to get a  new filter? Why can't you start over again?" He is disappointed that his "vacuum cleaner," so to speak, isn't working the way it's supposed to! God has given us so many "things to do."  My vacuum cleaner has one job: to get my carpet clean.  We, however, have been commanded to do many things:  to love  our enemies, heal the broken, be patient, pray without ceasing, give to those in need, witness.  The list goes on.  I was so upset that I got such a good deal on that vacuum cleaner and then it stopped working right.  I had no idea that it was my fault it wasn't working!  

Sometimes we don't realize that we aren't working; we may be doing things, but are we working? Are we sharing hope, giving the good news of salvation? God knew that he would have to send his son, Jesus, who He loved so, so much, to die a horrible death to save all of mankind.  But after that.. after he died, He conquered death and He rose again and He loves you and me.  Not everyone knows that.  Not everyone cares.  But with that in mind, I hope I won't be too "busy" to actually do work.

I put the new filter on that bad boy, and it went to work.  It picked up an insane amount of dust and dirt (told you it wasn't working before. Ew!) and I couldn't be happier that I don't have to buy a whole new vacuum cleaner. 

Maybe it's just time to ask God for a new filter for yourself.  You may be surprised at the amount of work that actually gets done!

Butterflies and Moths.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24

I read this article on marriage; the changes, the "we" factor, hobbies. I'll be the first to admit that I'm way more of a social butterfly than Cory is. In fact, he's more like a moth. I'm talking and yapping and blooming.. and he's stuck to a light bulb. Preferably an out of the way light bulb that won't be noticed so he doesn't have to talk to anyone. I'm not saying he can't or won't make casual conversation.. it's just not his nature. I also love visiting my family and staying the night. I don't care about being in my own bed. I want to stay up late, sippin' sweet tea and talking about all of life's mysteries.. Cory wants to be in his bed, with his pillow, with his everything. In fact, that's something we used to argue about a lot. I just couldn't understand why he didn't want to stay where I wanted.. I didn't always take the time to understand that he might be uncomfortable. The social butterfly in me doesn't really ever get uncomfortable.. I can blend in just about anywhere. Apparently, blending is harder for moths :)

Anyways, whether you've been married for ten years, just got engaged or can't imagine someone else "cleaving" to you for the next twenty years, this article brings some great, realistic points to light. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

For all the beauty marriage brings, it ushers in unique challenges. Learn how to deal better now.

Studies and research will tell you that couples most often fight about two topics in particular: Sex and money; different ideas of what’s too little, too much or how these issues affect the couple. While these are real struggles that jeopardize the health of a relationship, the gaps that lie between partner needs and how to bridge them still aren’t the real reason why marriage is so darn hard. The answer lies in the “shift.”

Most couples will tell you that when they got married nothing changed. And everything changed. All at once. Marriage isn’t magic. We mentally paint an idyllic picture of how the ceremony will wash away all of our troubles and that the bond of matrimony will bless our union with a lifetime of roses and rainbows. Sadly, it doesn’t. There is, of course, a renewed sense of joy, commitment and partnership; however, the problems you went in with are (most likely) the ones you’re coming out with. Same. Same. Nothing changed. So what does change? It all begins to unfold when you realize that once you said “I Do,” your relationship game just got “upped.”

 

When non-married couples disagree, society views it as reasonable, as they are just ‘learning’ each other. When non-married couples have separate hobbies, they are simply taking healthy alone time necessary to make their relationship work. When non-married couples spend time with their families without their significant other its okay, because their partner isn’t really ‘part of the family.’ How quickly these things change when we exchange vows. In an instant you’ve become “the couple that fights,” “the couple that has separate interests that might just lead to separate lives” and “the couple that has family issues.” For all of the many blessings that marriage brings, it necessitates the difficult choices every partner has to make in order to avoid becoming part of that clichéd statistic we’ve all heard.How do you defy the odds and not end up amongst the 50% who divorce?

Make the Mental Shift From ‘I to We’ - To keep your relationship strong, you as a couple have to view yourselves as the most important people in your world. It doesn’t mean that you are the only ones in existence, but it does mean that barring life hiccups, responsibilities and emergencies, you always have to think about what’s best for you two as a couple. This is no simple question, but it is the most important thing to ask when determining whether your marriage is going to sink or swim. It all sounds easy in theory, doesn’t it? Just “do what’s best” and you won’t be lead astray. It becomes more cloudy and complicated when it becomes apparent that in this “I to We” shift, a little part of each of you vanishes, for good.

The part of you that gets to do what you want, when you want, just for yourself, no matter what, becomes null and void. Every choice gets re-evaluated and re-processed through the filter of what’s ‘right’ for you BOTH. 

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/allison-cohen-m-a-mft/1-reason-marriage-so-darn-hard-how-fix-it-expert#.VMemuBY7bzI 

Boys will be boys.

Let's just face it; there are quite a few things that will just make life with your husband easier. Well, life with men in general I suppose. If you're a daughter, wife, mother, cousin- any female- you can make a man in your life happy with just a few things.

For the life of me, I'll never figure out WHY these things are important, but I know they are. 

1. A recliner

Wait. Not just any recliner. A good recliner. A comfortable recliner. A recliner that he can sit in after a long, hard days work and just ahhhhh. So it can't be any recliner, you see. It has to be THE recliner. Also..

2. Said recliner should sit within line of sight of the T.V. at just the right angle to which he doesn't have to move to watch T.V.

I happen to know for a fact that Cory isn't the only man who wants to be able to watch TV with little to no trouble. Several of my female friends have attested to the fact that their men, too, like to be lined up with the TV. Universally, men expect their comfy recliner and beloved television to line up so that they will not have to twist and turn their necks, ultimately leading to a trip to the chiropractor, a crick in their neck.. or whatever.

3. A trash receptacle close to their precious recliner..

So close, in fact, that it is not necessary to actually get up to throw anything away. It doesn't matter that there is a trash can in the kitchen, ten feet away, or one in every bathroom. Nope, who cares? Said trash can needs to be right there beside him. Otherwise, trash will pile up beside aforementioned recliner. And it will probably annoy you. But it just makes sense; if he doesn't want to turn his neck to watch TV, why would he want to stand up to throw trash away? See, that cleared things up, right? 

4. Toys

Yes, you read that correctly. My mom used to tell me that boys never really grow up; they just get bigger. And bigger boys want bigger toys. SO true. Forget Hot Wheels and toy trains; now they need a new X-Box (thankfully Cory isn't a gamer), a Jeep (not because they actually need a vehicle; no, a Jeep to just play in), guns, guns and more guns, and in Cory's case, WORK TOYS. Also known as a new skidder. When I heard that it was a few thousand short of what we actually paid for our house, I wished he was a gamer. 

Photographic evidence:

5. A stash of candy within reach

Okay, that could just be Cory.. I'm not sure. But he likes to use the really cute toolbox that I put beside his chair for the remote and such, as a miniature kitchen. Ding dongs, Twinkies, Star Crunch, Starburst, Gummy Worms; you name it. It doesn't matter that we actually have a kitchen. Hey, if they don't like to stand to throw trash away... you got it. Why would they want stand to go get food? It just really does make sense.

There's more. There's so much more. But these things: comfortable recliners lined up correctly with the TV, trash cans close to recliners, big, big toys, and candy-lots of it- close by. 

Hook your husband up with these simple things, and his life will be much happier. And much simpler.. which also leads to happiness for him.  :)

Ruth.

I guess I've been MIA for a while. It's a whole new year!

While I'd like to pretend that it's because I have a super exciting life and can just barely find time to think, never mind blog.. well, that's just not the case. I guess I haven't felt very inspired.. nothing to say that's just hilarious or helpful.

In the time since I last posted, I became a mom to the cutest, most energetic boy. He has all four feet and his tail wags perfectly. I only get mad at him when he chews on my throw pillows and potties in the floor. Which is sometimes a lot.. so I'm sometimes mad at him a lot. Other than those times, he's just perfect.

So the last two nights, I re-read the book of Ruth. It's a book in the Bible that I've read over and over and heard message after message on. But something was different this time. Maybe because I haven't read it since I've been married. Anyways, there were several things that I'd like to share with anyone who takes the time to read this.

1. Ruth was selfless

She set aside the possibility of ever marrying again or having children. She wanted Naomi to stop trying to talk her out of leaving her; she knew what she was getting herself into (or so she thought) and wanted to do it anyway.
Ruth 1:16-18 "And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and they God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought (anything) but death part thee and me. When she saw that she was steadfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her."

Also, Naomi gave ruth some pretty strange sounding instructions about laying at Boaz's feet (chapter 3) but Ruth trusted that Naomi would not give her bad advice; she was older and more accustomed to the ways of her people. Ruth was obedient and it worked out for her so well!


2. God had a plan for Ruth that never would have worked out if she had left Naomi

Ruth never would have passed Boaz's path if she had left Naomi to go back to her own people. Boaz was a kinsman of Naomi's husband, which gave him rights to marry Ruth. However, there was one kinsman in line before Boaz. Boaz told Ruth he would talk to this man, and if he did not want her for his wife, then he would marry her himself. And to think that if Naomi hadn't married Elimelech and Ruth hadn't married Mahlon (Naomi's son), none of this would have happened and Ruth wouldn't have been in the lineage of Jesus. To me, that means this plan was set in motion long before Ruth became a widow. Better yet, Boaz was known as a man of his word. What more could God have given Ruth?

Ruth 3:18 "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished he thing this day."

Naomi was basically saying, "Chill, Ruth, Boaz is a man of his word and he will take care of what he said would (which was talking to the kinsman about marrying Ruth).

3. Ruth's reputation went before her

Boaz had heard (and saw for himself) good things of Ruth. She worked hard in the fields and this earned her great rewards. Gleaning in the fields was basically poor people picking up the leftovers.

Ruth 2:16 "And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not."

Boaz gave orders for food to be left on purpose for Ruth. He was looking out for her before they were married. 

In all of this, I learned a few things. Being kind, selfless, hard working, patient nurturing.. these attributes will only get you so far. Ruth was all of these things, but she was something else: she was obedient. God desires our obedience in life. Without His direction, our plans will fail. I don't know about you, but I hate when my plans don't come together just right. God probably does too. He probably hates when we get in the way of the perfect plan He set in motion just for us.

In 2015, I hope to be more like Ruth: obedient, kind and hard working. I hope to never get in the way of the perfect plan that God has the blue print to. Can you be more like Ruth and less like yourself? I'm definitely trying.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Cyndi Lauper hit the nail on the head. "When the working day is done, girls, they just want to have fun." And tanning is fun. And reading is fun. And taking a bath is fun. And watching your favorite show on Netflix is fun. And relaxing on the couch is fun. And talking on the phone to your best friend is fun.

And paying bills is not. And cooking is not. And cleaning up after the imaginary dog that we don't even have but are thinking about getting but don't want because it will make messes is not. (Unless you're someone who likes to cook, and then yay for you.. your husband probably thinks you're like, the best thing in the world).

After a day at work, regardless of how "stressful" my day was or was not, I don't want to come home and do a million little things, i.e. laundry, dishes, food making, floor cleaning. So I can just imagine what having kids will be like. Oh, the joy. Nevertheless, I don't have kids right now, so this doesn't have to be about being supermom.

Fun. That's such an operative word. I mean, I feel like things that I think are fun are not things that other people would necessarily enjoy. I could read a book and call it fun, but that may not be your cup of tea. Either way, I feel like it's an important thing.. fun. Work can be long, life can be tiring.. Why not throw some fun in there?! Even if it's just reading a book. I can remember a time not so long ago when I didn't have time to read a single book that wasn't related to the subject of teeth. I got a library card a couple of weeks ago and literally thought I was going to have a breakdown due to pure joy because I was so overwhelmed at the amount of books (and time!) I had to read again. Nerdy much?

Marriage, like anything else, takes a lot of time out of your life. Not that that's a bad thing, not that your shouldn't spend time with your booth thang, BUT I'm gearing toward something here, so just hang tight.

Since we've already established that individuals have their own "fun" things to do, it's fair to say that just because you're attracted to and love someone.. doesn't mean you like the same "fun" things. I can shoot a gun at a target all day long, but if I have to wake up at the crack of dawn and sit in the freezing cold arctic temps to kill a deer and then spend hours in blood and guts for "fun," count me outtttt.

And if I told Cory to sit on the couch and read a book, he might have a heart attack. Or die of boredom. Both, maybe.

With that being said, I get to this: don't lose your identity. Don't stop doing the things that you think are fun. Don't stop reading. Don't stop scrapbooking. Don't stop crocheting. Don't stop your hobbies! They make you who you are; those things give you a special quirk. Just because nobody (like your husband, because chances are your friends are awesome and love the same things that you do!) wants to crochet a scarf with you, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it! Especially if your name is Madilyn and you make me the cutest scarves ever, jussayin.

Fun things make you happy, and happy you is the best you. For the love of everyone around you, trust me.

If being married is about losing yourself and never doing anything that you think is fun, you're doing it wrong. Stop that, and do it right!

Father-in-Laws.

Who knows your husband even better than you know him? His dad, of course. Especially if your husband is the spitting image of his dad in personality. Lucky for you, if you've got the big bad FIL on your side, life will be good. And when life is bad, said FIL can probably help you figure out how to iron out the wrinkles in life, which is the only ironing he may ever do.

Without even knowing it, your husband has given you an ally; a friend with unlimited knowledge of, well, everything about him. An arsenal of priceless information.
Glorious, right?

Last night, Cory asked me if I was insecure about being short, to which I replied no. I mean, come on. There aren't many guys that don't love short girls. We're spunky. Anyways, not the point. So then he asked if it was offensive when people call me a midget. (***please note- I am not a midget***). So I said yeah, and he asked if I would be mad if his dad said that. Game changer. I mean, I wouldn't like it, but it's Rog, ya know? I probably wouldn't be mad, because that's how he is. A jokester. Actually, when he was in the hospital, I think he did call me a midget. But he was in a hospital bed, so it's not like I could just let him have it! I think I just looked at him and said, "Did you just call me a midget?" He did his little Rog laugh, and we went on with life.

Me and Rog, we have a lot in common. A good sense of humor, the ability to take a good teasing and the inability to handle ignorant individuals. Maybe that's why our relationship rocks. One of my favorite things about being married to Cory is spending time with his mom and dad. Mother in law time will come later; I don't want to steal the thunder from Rog. 

If you've ever met him, he's probably made you laugh. He just does that, without even trying. He's a good listener, even if you're complaining about his own kid! Sometimes he's so stubborn you just want to kick him. He tells the best stories. He's an endless source of wisdom and life lessons. Life wouldn't be the same without him; I honestly can't wait for my future kids to meet him.

To prove I'm not the only girl with a great FIL, I asked some FB friends what they love about their husbands father. The responses mostly boiled down to "he's like another dad to me", "he's a great grandpa to my child/children," "he will do anything for family" and "he intentionally modeled a strong and healthy marriage." Those are just a few of my personal favorites. The point is, if you haven't taken the time to sit down and have a really good one on one talk with your husband's father, I'd encourage you to do so. He's probably pretty great. I spend more time with other people, usually women, talking about women stuff (and complaining about the men), but there are few things I love more than hearing Cory's dad tell me that he's proud of me and that he's glad I'm a part of his family. 

And with that, I'm out. 

Things Girls Do.

Things Girls Do That Guys Don't Understand.

1. Gettin' Our Nails Did

For me, that's a personal favorite. Cory used to ask me all the time why I, and I quote, "wasted money" to get my nails done. I just like it. It makes me feel good. I don't see it as a waste, but rather a reward. And that's all that really matters. Duh.

2. Making The Bed

Not everyday, by any means. I used to make my bed every single time I got out of it, but that has changed. Anyway, if it were up to Cory, the bed would never be made. Reasoning? You always have to get back into it, so why make it? Hm.. I'm sure he likes the way he thinks.

3. Putting On Make-Up

You know that song about the guy staring at the girl taking off her make up and not even knowing why she put it on? They probably really do feel that way. But whatever. They don't understand that we feel like our beauty is enhanced with a little help. Cory was probably scared to death the first time he saw me with zero make up on. Fortunately, he's still alive.

4. Wearing Leggings, Boots & Shirts That Are Big Enough To Be His

Okay, get real. The big shirt probably is his. And he'll never know why you have fifteen jillion clothing items and choose to wear his shirts. Good thing is, he doesn't have to understand how comfortable it is because you know.

5. Paying To Have Hair Removed

Hair, eyebrows, etc. Why do we need split ends cut, eyebrows waxed? Well, they just don't know how cute we'd be with caterpillars above our eyes.

There are bound to be more and I'm sure they'll come up eventually, but there's a start.

Now go get your nails did and your brows waxed. And don't forget to wear your leggings.