Happy Birthday, Mom.

Here's to you, kid.

You've kept your head up. You've made it past obstacles that are too large for your young life. You've persevered through situations that you shouldn't have to know exist. You've kept your emotions in check for the most part.

Here's to you for trying to have a normal life. For making excuses for a person or a set of people who are supposed to love you enough to move heaven and earth for you. 

But sometimes they don't. Maybe they can't. I don't know.

Today is my mom's birthday, and I wanted to call and tell her happy birthday. But I can't.

I would never put this out there to embarrass her or make her feel like less of anything that she is. And I don't want to embarrass myself either.

But recently I've been thinking about embracing the mess.

Taking off the mask of "a perfect life."

The mess that is sometimes real life. Sometimes real life isn't picture perfect, no matter how "normal" you've set your life up to be.

The mess that is embarrassing. Hard to handle. Impossible to look past. You can't run from it. And it's real.

The mess that may mean your mom is in prison. I mean it wasn't always that way. Sometimes it was rehab. Sometimes it was a "drug court" program. Sometimes it was just addiction taking it's course.

But here's to you, kid.

You look to God to direct your paths. You've gone to college. You have a degree. You have a good job. You have a great family. You're married. You have a good life. You nurture the relationships that are important to you.

You have responsibilities that you're actually supposed to have, not the ones that you had when you were a kid, but you were treated like an adult. It wasn't your responsibility to keep secrets, feel guilty or get caught in the middle. But you were.

You weren't supposed to not be able to call your mom and tell her happy birthday,  but you can't.

You aren't supposed to know about attempted suicide, choosing sides, drunken rages or meth.

But you do.

Sometimes that's life. It's real life for some people.

So, to the girls who think their parents suck because they didn't get them front row tickets to see Adele, that's not an actual problem. 

It's hard to see your parent behind a glass wall. To go to a jail and pick up a phone on a concrete wall to talk to your parent. That's not how life is supposed to be. 

That's actually a mess. A real life mess. 

Your mom and dad are supposed to take you to ball games and send you out on dates with $20. They're supposed to buy you your first car and pay for your college tuition. 

Not call you in the middle of the night with another problem.

But here's to you, kid. For keeping your really personal life personal and not letting it determine your future.

For making your path take a turn. For not being a statistic that you were expected to be. You're making a difference.

And you should thank them, too. For making you rely on the love of Jesus more than you ever thought you would. For having relationships with other family members that may not have existed. For pushing you to better yourself.

Psalm 40:8
"I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart."