Saturday, August 30, 2014

Are We Having a Baby Soon?

I feel that there are a few major accomplishments in life. They differ for everyone, but here are a few: graduating high school, getting a college degree, buying a house, getting married, establishing a career and having children.

At the age of 21, I have accomplished all but one of these.

Where am I going with this?

Well, part of having a job that requires your patient to be laid back with mouths wide open means they ask you questions that you have to talk about for a long time; i.e. "how did you and your husband meet?" "what's your hometown like?" and my personal favorite "why don't you tell me about yourself?" All of those questions are great conversation starters, and other than feeling like I'm at a job interview or something just as intimidating, I typically like to have these sort of conversations with my patients.

However, as soon as I mention that I'm married, the topic turns to babies. Don't get me wrong, babies are great. They're little rockets of puke and poop that disturb the peace and cut into all of your Netflix time. Just kidding. Many of you are probably moms, and kudos to you. I am not quite ready to not be selfish. I know that a huge part of your life is no longer yours when you have kids. It's insane to think that life will ever be the same after babies.

Granted, this post won't be able to cover my every thought and feeling on young married couples and babies, but bear with me. For some couples, getting married and then having a baby soon after works for them. That's what they want and that's great! They're great moms and dads and life is good. On the other hand, I know people who have been married for six years and haven't had a baby yet, and everyone on the planet is wondering why and oh so ready for them to have a baby, but you know what? They're 24ish. That's probably why they haven't had kids yet. Like marriage, I feel that children don't come with an age. There's no certain age you should get married. You don't even have to ever get married. You don't have to have or not have children at a certain age. Heck, you don't ever have to have them. For me, marriage and children come with maturity. 

I have literally seen couples who have been married for 8 years and dated for a billion before that, and I would never let them even babysit my nonexistent baby. That may sound harsh, but come on. You know that there are friends/family members/whoever that you pray are never the last people on planet Earth that you would have to have be guardian and protector of your child for even 2 hours. Probably because they aren't mature enough to put a baby's needs before a video game, or patient enough to let a baby cry it out and then move along with life.

Right now, I don't want a baby. I don't want my sleep interrupted, I don't want to not go see a movie I want, I don't want to have another human life depending on me. Isn't it better that I know that now instead of after having a baby?

What really sent me on this small rant was that everybody. every. body. has been asking me this. Are we going to have a baby soon? Are we thinking about starting a family? Oh my word, we're still thinking "I have to cook dinner every night?!" and "Why doesn't Cory make the bed?" Okay, that's not "we" thinking, it's just me. Regardless, the final straw- I went to get my nails done yesterday and as soon as the girl asked if I was married, she asked if we had kids or wanted to have any soon. Considering the fact that I still look like I'm about 14, I know she was only asking because I'm married.  Since when did getting married become the stepping stone right before parenthood?

Hey, if you're one of the people that has asked if we're having a baby soon, want to have kids in the near future, etc., let's get this clear-- I am NOT mad at you. And for those of you who know me well enough to say "Don't do it yet. Enjoy some time just the two of you. Wait a while to have kids," thanks.

My only point is this- everyone is different. Every person, every couple. Young marriage faces enough challenges of it's own without having a baby. I honestly can't imagine having a baby right now, and guess what? That's so so so fine. Because it's my life that changes when I have a baby. And I'm only TWENTY-ONE. Most 21 year old females are still in college, or just graduating and starting their jobs. Isn't that a big enough life accomplishment for now? I think it is.

I completely expect a jillion more people to ask me about this topic, and I'll just keep smiling and explaining that I don't have shirts that I want puke on just yet. God's timing is perfect, no doubt. When it's time, it'll be time. Until then, I'm going to enjoy a toy free zone.

So, in answer to the title, no.

Friday, August 29, 2014

All American Girl.

Ahh, dating. I see the whole point of dating as a means to find someone that you love, someone to marry. There are people that date for fun, but how does that usually turn out if all they're looking for is fun? Broken hearts. His or hers. Someone puts more into it than the other and then bam. You've got a girl eating ice cream, crying and snotting on her best friend, wondering why she wasn't good enough. We've all been there, done that. I  saw different ways of dating in other countries and thought they'd be fun facts to share! 

Dating Fact: In Brazil, two people who fancy one another will usually go out in groups first to see if they like one another. Solo dates will typically only happen should it be leading to a relationship! Now that’s serious.

Okay, I guess it's not a terrible idea to go out in groups. It could prevent all sorts of things, like date rape, dating psycho killers, etc. However, I'd say it's a little drastic to only go out solo if you're interested in a long term relationship. I mean, people act so differently in group settings than one on one. Guys are too cool to talk to you in a group, but all they really want to do is talk to you. So take it from me, guys, if you like a girl, ask her out. Not out to go with your buddies to a burger joint. Out on a real date. Just the two of you. Unless you're a psycho killer.. then you should probably just not ask her out at all.

Dating Fact: In France, there’s no conversation of whether or not you’re actually in a relationship. The French are much more laid-back when it comes to dating, meaning they don’t really believe in the whole concept of dating all that much. You’re either not dating or you’re together. Confusing, no?

Confusing, no. I'm not French, I'm an all American girl, so if you want to be in a relationship, you'd better shout it from the rooftops or I'm gonna find a guy that will! Dating exclusively leads to less broken hearts. French "not dating" leads to all kinds of people thinking they've got dibs on the hottie with abs, while he's got dibs on every girl in a bikini.. confusing, no?

Dating Fact: Ever heard of being fashionably late? Not in Japan, you haven’t! When someone gives you a set time, and you don’t show up exactly when you said you’d be there, you’d better have a catastrophic excuse or risk never being spoken to again. Better never than late!

I'd never make it in Japan. It's not that we, as females, try to be late to every appointment, date or interview known to man. But sometimes things happen. You notice you've got a stray strand of your Afro sticking straight up that needs hair-sprayed down real quick before you leave. There's a cup in the sink you could throw in the dishwasher. You leave and wonder if you locked your door.. there's no sure way to know so you go back to check. It happens. Cory tells me that if I'm not early, I'm late. So I basically feel like I'm in Japan everyday. But as far as dating goes, geesh. Chill out, guys. Better late than never.

Dating Fact: A little jealousy here and there keeps the love alive, but when dating an Italian, a wandering eye is not an option. Italians can be very possessive of their significant others at times, almost to the point where they feel as if you belong to them and only them.

Eh, I'm pretty sure that's not only Italians.. "wandering eyes lead to no eyes." Haven't you ever heard that? Oh wait, that's right. I made it up. But really. If Cory sees a girl in an itsy bitsy teeny bathing suit and says "man, she's hot.." then wow. All of the sudden it's man, he has no eyes. Because I probably just jabbed them out with my teasing comb. It's called respect. If you see a guy with a 20 pack lookin' like he just got off the Baywatch set, don't tell your husband how hot that guy is. It does the same thing to them that it does to us- it makes him feel like he doesn't measure up to the perfect guy in your eyes. And you know what? Obviously he does because you married him.

Dating Fact: In the U.S., equality is certainly not a foreign concept. In Australia, however, equality falls into all facets of everyday life, including when it comes time to pay the bill. So don’t be alarmed if you’re asked to split evenly on a date!

Ladies, be thankful to not be in Australia. Just kidddding. I think there are certain times when it's okay to split the check. For instance, you both mutually agree it would be fun to "hang out," not calling it a date; you have dinner, check comes, you split it to be nice. Then he asks you out again. Then he's paying. Well, that's how it is in America anyway. 

Dating Fact: In Spain, it’s all about a good game, even outside of the fútbol field. So don’t hate the player, and you know what, don’t hate the game! Try not to be too interested at the beginning, because the Spanish love a good chase. But remember, should you actually be interested, best not to be too coy for too long.

Earth to women, that's an American rule too. And sometimes, it's okay to hate the player and the game; if you're not interested in playing games, there are certain guys you shouldn't go after, and you probably know who that guy is. His reputation proceeds him. With that being said, if you are interested, go for it. It's not all about the chase, and if he's a guy worth being with, you won't have to go for it. He will. 

Dating Fact: Don’t be surprised if your interaction with a Russian is… touchier than usual. Many times, Russians will stand within a close proximity when speaking and consider consistent contact a gesture of friendship.

Maybe that's cute in Russia, but I think it's a little creepy. You don't have to be standing so close to me that I can make a prediction about what you had for lunch due to smelling your breath. In fact, I have to beg Cory to touch me in public. NO PDA. But come on, dude. Holding my hand is not PDA. He still has some things to learn. 

Dating Fact: Say goodbye to small talk! Germans are all about the real deal. Shallow, superficial conversation is not appreciated in German culture, as they consider it inauthentic and disallowing of a true connection. Time to keep it 100!

Keeping it 100 is never a bad idea, no matter the country. Dating leads to relationships, relationships lead to marriage. If you're not used to keeping it real in the beginning, it won't be a part of your marriage. And that's just not good news.

Dating Fact: Be wary of solely relying on physical gestures to communicate with the Greeks. They often consider even the slightest gestures, like nodding, rude and offensive. Not cool, K?

I almost have no comment, other than Greeks may be way to easy to offend. Don't offend your husband though. Sometimes he makes you mad and you want to just tick him off by pushing just the right button, so you do. Then he does. Then you're both shallow for doing it. So just don't. Life will be easier that way. ;)

* All "dating facts" came from

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

That's So Annoying.

They probably don't mean to. Getting on your nerves isn't actually his main goal in life. Sometimes it just happens. Here are a few things that I just can't handle, yet they happen on the reg.

1. Why is there urine on the toilet seat?

I didn't know about this until I lived with a man. So, like a nice man, Cory raises the seat. Although he insists that it isn't fair that he has to lift the seat to pee, then put it down for me, he does it anyway. After I almost fell in the toilet a few times in the middle of the night. He tries to say he doesn't use the toilet when the seat is down, but I happen to know it's humanly impossible to live without pooping (sorry about the p word), therefore.. I know he does use it with the seat down. Also, he's over six feet tall which probably has something to do with said urine on the seat. Either way, you put it there. Not me. Please, clean it off.

2. How do you even have any hair on your body? I could've sworn I just saw it all over the sink. 

Cory doesn't have to tell me when he shaves his face. Sometimes I notice on my own. Sometimes I see enough hair on the bathroom sink to make a small wig. Either way, you put it there. Not me. Please, clean it off. On the off chance that he doesn't know how, show him. That way next time you find hair everywhere, he can't say he wasn't sure how to get it all off.

3. Tell me you love me or something before you ask me what's for dinner.

Hello, my new title is wife. Not maid. I hate cooking, but that's not the point. The point it, I do it.. usuallly. And before I do, LOVE ME. Kiss me, hug me, tell me I look so sexy in my scrubs. Then you can request freakin steak and mashed potatoes.

4. Do I have any clean pants?

Hmm, you're probably just asking that question because you've already looked in the closet and know you don't have any clean pants so you want me to wash them for you for work tomorrow. At 9 p.m. Yeah, that one actually just happened. Spin cycle is happening as we speak.

This may be a good thing for my marriage, but I can't think of any more annoying things at the moment. I happen to know that there are more unbelievably annoying things that he does, they just aren't coming to mind. #1 and #2 are the worst, but hey, that's life. I can live with cleaning the toilet and the sink. As long as he can live with tickling my back and watching One Tree Hill. All is fair in love.

Wanna know the best part? Cory has little to no idea that he annoys me with these things. It's not likely he artfully places urine on the toilet seat or gently places hair after hair on the sink. Just like I do things that annoy him to no end and I have no idea what they are because he doesn't dwell on them.

Marriage.. ahh. Two people annoying each other for the rest of their lives. What could be better?

Monday, August 25, 2014

10 Things Married People Want You to Know: Rebuttal and Praise

I saw this link on Facebook yesterday, and while the hopeless romantic in me agrees with most of it, here are my thoughts and opinions. Enjoy Endure if you must.

1. "Most of the time you spend together is going to be non-sexual, so you better be best friends, or it won't last."
Cindi Says: WORD. Most of the time you spend together IS non-sexual, but your S.O. doesn't necessarily plan for life to be that way. You will, mark my words, find yourself all cuddled up and wanting to just be cuddly, then bam. It's like a light went off inside his head wanting to not just be cuddly. Unfortunately for him, the only light going off in your head is the thought that only ice cream could make this night better. Sorry, boys. It's cuddles, chick flicks and cookie dough for us. Non-sexual quality time. Ahhhh. 
2. "… I once read that if love can be explained then it isn't love, it's an exchange of benefits. You may love her long blonde hair, her perfect smile and her great figure but the body changes over time and life throws curves. If you don't think you could handle the changes that life will bring then you aren't in love, you are in lust…"
Cindi Says: Love can be explained. When you can tell someone why you love your husband, there you are, explaining. I love Cory because he makes me feel special when he doesn't even try. He gets so excited over little things, like me complying to his demands of chocolate chip cookies from CFA. He works hard to provide for me and our future family. He puts my every need before his. I could go on and on, explaining. The body changes over time.. word again. I don't have any rebuttal to that, other than.. don't worry. Your husband may have loved you for your beautiful bod and lush lips at first, but then he fell in love with your laugh, your ability to make him feel wanted.. and those, my ladies, are things that time can't take away. 
3. "Don't stop dating your S.O."
Cindi Says: Don't stop dating, but definitely stop spending so much money. Dates don't have to carry the burden of impressing your s.o. They are YOUR s.o. And with being yours, they already want you. So go to the park, spread out your blankey, and be content with the fact that you're spending zero dollars and making a memory. PSA: men: that doesn't mean don't buy birthday, anniversary or Christmas gifts, don't celebrate significant times, etc. etc. Just know that you don't have to spend money to impress girls. They're more infatuated with your ability to come up with an expressive, inexpensive date! 

4. "[Remember] that they are the same person after the new labels. I've seen it all fall apart because the boyfriend's cute little habits were not something a husband should do. ‘We are married now! You can't do that!' It's easy to get lost in labels (because Wife and Husband are long defined terms. They come with much baggage.). If your girlfriend sucked at dishes, news flash, your wife will too.

Cindi Says: By "much baggage," they mean bills. House payment, water bill, phone bill, electric bill, insurance, car payment, truck payment.. MUCH BAGGAGE. If your girlfriend was an obsessive OCD freak who always wants everything in it's place, your wife will be too. Sorry, Cor. Likewise, if your boyfriend never had to do his own laundry, your husband won't know how. Instead of getting mad about things that you didn't even know you didn't like about each other, use it as a learning opportunity. For instance, I made sticky notes that say "Clean: Cory, it's okay to leave your dishes in the sink" & "Dirty: Cory! Put your dishes in the dishwasher!" Now, this may make him feel like he's 5. But guess what? The dishes are going where you need them. Just because you're a husband and a wife now, doesn't mean you forget how to act like a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It's SO easy to let the baggage overwhelm you. Just take a step back. Breathe. And love your husband. 

5. "[My] advice can be summed up in two words: Don't lie. Almost every major problem within relationships starts with a lie. If your relationship can handle the truth, then it can handle anything."

Cindi Says: Agree. Also, don't ask questions that may even need to be thought about lying about. If you can't handle the truth, don't ask the question. We all have a past. It's highly likely that you didn't marry the first person you ever dated. I so wish I could change many things in my past, but that's just not the way the world works. So, don't lie. Don't ask what you deeeeep down in your heart don't even want to know. I've asked a couple of those questions and you know what? He didn't lie. Now, I know the answer to my questions, but for what? The past is the past. It's there for a reason. Most importantly, your past is not your future.  
6. "When arguing, seek to understand before seeking to be understood."
Cindi Says: Again, I have no rebuttal for this one.. If only I could follow this rule every time we got into a dumb argument over something silly.. Men tend to get more worked up every passing second of an argument. Don't get defensive, put up your wall and yell about why you're right. Get where he's coming from. Then back yourself up. He's more likely to WANT to understand where you're coming from. Jussayin. 

7. "Frequently express your appreciation and affection for the smallest things even. ‘Thank you for taking out the trash.' ‘I like what you did with the dining room.' ‘You look really nice today.' ‘I love you…'
If your husband tells you thank you for everything you do, praise him and never ever let him leave your side. Oh my lanta. I wish. It's usually me saying "Thank you for taking out the trash." Sarcastically, after I take it out because I'm tired of him not remembering that it's Wednesday, and the trash goes out ON WEDNESDAY. Anyhoo, while it's nice and dandy to be so expressive of your appreciation, it doesn't always happen. You deal with it. Life isn't measured by the number of times you take the trash out anyway, right? It's measured by how many deep breaths you have to take to not yell at your husband for not doing it. Again. :) 
8. "… Find a place/way for you to communicate openly, and be vulnerable. Someone else said they hop in the tub with their SO, my husband and I have difficult/emotional conversations while holding each other in bed…"
Cindi Says: Back to #1. Non-sexual time. Tubs and beds don't seem non-sexual to me, but hey, this is my blog and therefore, my opinion. Maybe you can hop in the tub and talk about your day. I'd prefer to be curled up in the fetal position in the middle of the living room floor or something. With my Medusa-like hair all over the place. Or something like that. Something totally in no way being taken as sexual time. I want to whine, be vulnerable, have an emotional conversation.. all while being 100% u-g-l-y so that there's no misunderstanding. 

9. "For a long term partnership to work, abandon any notion you have that responsibility is shared 50/50 between partners. Each is responsible for 100 % — and you always check one another's back…"

Cindi Says: False. If you feel responsible for 100%, you're going to be stressed, moody, mean.. all of which are not emotions that your husband likes. If you know that you are part of a team that is going to get the job done, life is so much easier. Granted, I know if I fell and broke my wrist and couldn't work, Cory would take care of us. But why would I want to put all of that pressure on him if it's not necessary? I'll do my part, he'll do his part, we'll pay off our "much baggage" every month, and we'll be happy doing it, knowing that we're both working hard to make life work. 

10. "Tell each other you love them. Every time you meet or leave, several times a day. Hold hands. Touch. Share everything, thoughts, feelings, jokes, food, drinks. Take care of each other. Both should always put the other first, you will end up compromising from the top down instead of the bottom up, thus avoiding resentment. Never take without giving. Don't sweat the small stuff. Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Enjoy life."

Cindi Says: Don't just say you love him, show him. Every day. Whether it be bringing him home cookies from Chic-Fil-A, letting him tell you about the muffler he ordered.. whatever. Just listen to him. Love him. Hug him. It's so hard for him to be mad at you when you hug him. Don't sweat the small stuff, but don't let the small stuff turn into big stuff. There are some things you let him share with his boys. Trust me, we just don't think their humor is.. ehh, funny, at times. But the boys.. oh, they love it. It's hilarious. Who knew? And yes, ALWAYS take care of each other. It's the Golden Rule. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

My Very First Post.

I used to blog a lot when I was young. Well, I'm still young, but younger. Tiny teenager young. I tried to remember what kinds of things I could have possibly had to write about, but nothing important is coming to mind.. Maybe I wrote about what boy I liked or what my summer vacation would be like.. But oh, how things have changed. I'm still young, but I'm married. 

I want to devote this blog (well, most of it) to marriage. More specifically, my marriage. So first, in case you don't know me or my significant other, here's a little overview. We got married on May 10th of this year. I'm Cindi. I'm a dental hygienist, I love to talk, I love to craft. Cory, my husband, is a born and bred logger who also has his CDL license (and his initials are CDL, isn't that cute?). He lives and breathes work. He just asked what I was doing, and when I said "blogging," he asked if I was mad at him. Apparently, to men, blogging also means "venting." Well, not here. Not now, anyways. 

Hard Knocks and Little Love Talks was just a random thought one day while driving back to my home town. I thought "it'd be nice to see how other young people deal with married life"- the good, bad and very ugly. Also, I've learned that after the hard knocks, come the little love talks.

I know married people fight. I've heard it, seen it.. but I also heard (or read) that married people typically fight/argue/have disagreements over money. If I were to ask my Papa if that was true, he'd just tell me that when you don't have any money, it's easy to not fight over it. Or something like that. Anyways, I'm here to tell you that most of our arguments are not about money. Or family. Or probably any other normal thing to argue about. We bicker over the really  important things, like what temperature to set the AC on, who should mow the yard and where to eat at when I don't want to cook (which is a lot, because no one ever told me that my plan to marry someone who loved to cook might fall through). Unfortunately, it's not socially acceptable to ask other people what they fight about with their husband or wife, so I don't know for sure what other married people argue about, but I do know that about 99.9% of the things we bicker about are completely irrelevant to life.

Oh, but we're happy. See, hard knocks come in many shapes and forms, and when you realize that, you're prepared to deal with the situation and move on. 

Main thought for the day: I heard a man today say something to the effect of wanting Jesus Christ to be the very center of every single thing. His marriage. His family. His profession. His lunch dates. His Super Bowl parties. And, while it could seem silly that someone would care about details that seem minute, it got me thinking. Something is the cornerstone of your marriage. Something, whether it be greed, pride or Jesus, is the cornerstone. 

Ephesians 2:20&21
.."And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief cornerstone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:"

If your building (marriage) is centered around Jesus, the building (marriage) will be fitly framed together. Be sure your frame is built around the Chief Cornerstone, and don't fight over who gets to use up all the hot water first tonight!