Are We Having a Baby Soon?

I feel that there are a few major accomplishments in life. They differ for everyone, but here are a few: graduating high school, getting a college degree, buying a house, getting married, establishing a career and having children.

At the age of 21, I have accomplished all but one of these.

Where am I going with this?

Well, part of having a job that requires your patient to be laid back with mouths wide open means they ask you questions that you have to talk about for a long time; i.e. "how did you and your husband meet?" "what's your hometown like?" and my personal favorite "why don't you tell me about yourself?" All of those questions are great conversation starters, and other than feeling like I'm at a job interview or something just as intimidating, I typically like to have these sort of conversations with my patients.

However, as soon as I mention that I'm married, the topic turns to babies. Don't get me wrong, babies are great. They're little rockets of puke and poop that disturb the peace and cut into all of your Netflix time. Just kidding. Many of you are probably moms, and kudos to you. I am not quite ready to not be selfish. I know that a huge part of your life is no longer yours when you have kids. It's insane to think that life will ever be the same after babies.

Granted, this post won't be able to cover my every thought and feeling on young married couples and babies, but bear with me. For some couples, getting married and then having a baby soon after works for them. That's what they want and that's great! They're great moms and dads and life is good. On the other hand, I know people who have been married for six years and haven't had a baby yet, and everyone on the planet is wondering why and oh so ready for them to have a baby, but you know what? They're 24ish. That's probably why they haven't had kids yet. Like marriage, I feel that children don't come with an age. There's no certain age you should get married. You don't even have to ever get married. You don't have to have or not have children at a certain age. Heck, you don't ever have to have them. For me, marriage and children come with maturity. 

I have literally seen couples who have been married for 8 years and dated for a billion before that, and I would never let them even babysit my nonexistent baby. That may sound harsh, but come on. You know that there are friends/family members/whoever that you pray are never the last people on planet Earth that you would have to have be guardian and protector of your child for even 2 hours. Probably because they aren't mature enough to put a baby's needs before a video game, or patient enough to let a baby cry it out and then move along with life.

Right now, I don't want a baby. I don't want my sleep interrupted, I don't want to not go see a movie I want, I don't want to have another human life depending on me. Isn't it better that I know that now instead of after having a baby?

What really sent me on this small rant was that everybody. every. body. has been asking me this. Are we going to have a baby soon? Are we thinking about starting a family? Oh my word, we're still thinking "I have to cook dinner every night?!" and "Why doesn't Cory make the bed?" Okay, that's not "we" thinking, it's just me. Regardless, the final straw- I went to get my nails done yesterday and as soon as the girl asked if I was married, she asked if we had kids or wanted to have any soon. Considering the fact that I still look like I'm about 14, I know she was only asking because I'm married.  Since when did getting married become the stepping stone right before parenthood?

Hey, if you're one of the people that has asked if we're having a baby soon, want to have kids in the near future, etc., let's get this clear-- I am NOT mad at you. And for those of you who know me well enough to say "Don't do it yet. Enjoy some time just the two of you. Wait a while to have kids," thanks.

My only point is this- everyone is different. Every person, every couple. Young marriage faces enough challenges of it's own without having a baby. I honestly can't imagine having a baby right now, and guess what? That's so so so fine. Because it's my life that changes when I have a baby. And I'm only TWENTY-ONE. Most 21 year old females are still in college, or just graduating and starting their jobs. Isn't that a big enough life accomplishment for now? I think it is.

I completely expect a jillion more people to ask me about this topic, and I'll just keep smiling and explaining that I don't have shirts that I want puke on just yet. God's timing is perfect, no doubt. When it's time, it'll be time. Until then, I'm going to enjoy a toy free zone.

So, in answer to the title, no.